For some couples intimacy is alive and well. For others it is a distant memory. Sometimes we get busy living our lives with work, children, friends, religious community and then there is our partner…at the end of the day, no energy left. The space for intimacy left our brains and body hours earlier. Maybe it’s that we don’t talk anymore.
All relationships go through waves of more or less intimacy and sex over time. Age is not the reason we stop taking the time for each other and sex can be great into our 70’s and 80’s! That lightheaded feeling at the beginning of the relationship goes away after the first couple of years. It doesn’t have to be gone forever, but it changes. Moving towards intimacy in a relationship that has lost that flair can be daunting. If we’ve already had sex, why hug and snuggle and look into each others eyes? Can we go back there? This is awkward!
In relationships where the intimacy and connection have disappeared, issues with the relationship as the cause. Counseling can help with recreating those connections. Creating a space where you can be safe and vulnerable are important to rebuilding the intimacy in your relationship. When everything else is working and you want to return to intimacy in your relationship, the book “Sexual Awareness” by Barry McCarthy & Emily McCarthy can help guide you on the way back to that intimacy.
Using the book “Sexual Awareness” along with the aid of a couples therapist may help avoid any pitfalls as you work to bring back the intimacy in your relationship. I work with couples to help them create these safe spaces with each other.