Couples come into therapy with issues, but I would say in a crisis. When there are problems at home, you keep having the same argument over and over again, and the communication is broken down, the inevitable question arises: “how can I connect with my partner.” It is either time to call a therapist or a divorce attorney.
Coming to a therapist can be scary. Your relationship is on the line and you place yourself in a vulnerable position. How can you know if you can really tell someone else about your problems, or whether or not someone can actually help fix your problems? Maybe you wonder if it’s even worth it to fight for your relationship.
If you want it, it is worth it.
Couples Therapy is hard. You will be talking about how you got here, what is happening, and what you both do to trigger each other. It will get harder before it gets better, and that is okay. You two will find and understand the pieces that are deep inside each of you that are working to prevent you from connecting; you will begin to understand each other as a couple and yourselves as individuals.
It is not an easy battle, but it is a battle worth fighting. By getting to those core emotions, those deep down fears, and those things that hold you back, you can cross the divide that keeps you from your partner.
Imagine that person that matters most to you in the world accepting you, knowing your fears, your hesitations, and everything you’ve kept hidden. Imagine how deep and comforting that newfound connection will be. It can be. With time, effort, and guidance, you and our partner can develop and nurture a connection just like this, no matter how unattainable it feels at the present moment. It will be.
I work with as an Emotionally Focused Therapist helping couples reclaim their relationships. If you want to know more about Emotionally Focused Therapy and how you and your partner can reconnect and rebuild your relationship,click here. EFT has been supported through rigorous, peer reviewed research for decades. You can see more about the research here. If you would like to read about relationships you can get Hold me tight: seven conversations for a lifetime of love . You can find other resources for reading on the recommended reading list.
I am a marriage and family therapist in Fort Collins, Colorado. If you are looking for a therapist, you can contact me here.