About

Are you struggling with your partner?  Does your family feel out of control?  Do you wish you could change something, but you can’t figure out how and your are afraid to try something new?  Do you feel anxious with or around people and wonder how life became so unmanageable?

I work with people struggling just like you. Using attachment focused therapy to heal the bonds between our selves and our loved ones, we will work together to create secure connections and reduce anxiety. This approach has a profound effect for those with couples dealing with relationship and sexuality issues, those struggling with social anxiety, recovering from trauma, or reengineering their life.  Additionally, I work with Families, parents, and or children recovering from trauma, illness, grief, loss, moving, and divorce.  This approach to healing relationships is backed up by over 20 years of research.  Research List

I am passionate about our struggles as people to connect and create safety within our personal spaces.  This safety creates the ability to be our true authentic self with others, live fully in the moment and look to the future.  We can then begin to explore the reasons for satisfaction or dissatisfaction in our ability to connect to each other, from our extended social networks to intimacy and sexuality.

What happens in couples counseling:

The first appointment you will begin with your history.  How did you get here.  For couples counseling, how did you meet?  What brought you together?  What changed over time?  What do you see the issue is with your relationship today.  The next session, I will have with each of you separately.  This is helpful to talk about anything that is embarrassing or difficult to say to your partner.  If there are secrets in your relationship, we can talk about those and how they are affecting your relationship and whether they need to be revealed to your partner, or not.  If there are any difficulties in intimacy, this can be a good time to bring those up as well.  Then the next session I will meet with you both.  These individual sessions are helpful as the hidden things you can’t say in your relationship affect you both.  In couples counseling, it is important for me to understand the things that are hidden in your relationship.  The next session we will come together and discuss some of the issues that I see from what we all discussed.   You will be able to determine what you see as goals for your counseling.

In couples counseling, I work as an Emotionally Focused Therapist.  This means that we will work to find what keeps you apart.  When you are stressed and need to reach for your partner, what keeps you from reaching?  We will work on the emotions, the fears, the thoughts that keep you from being able to reach for your partner.  When you can reach for your partner in those places, you and your partner will be building the bonds that create both safety and strength in your relationship.  When you have these bonding moments, both you and your partner will be able to relax together in the stress.  The comfort and caring can then lead to more of these moments!  In couples counseling, my goal for you and your partner is to create a comforting and strong relationship.

What happens in family therapy:

When working with families, what happens in therapy will depend on the ages of your children.  When working with small children, we will work with the abilities the children have.  This means play.  Children don’t have the words and language that we adults have to tell what is happening inside us.  Children do use play to explain what is happening.

An example of this is a boy who lost his father played for months one scene from the 1987 film by Lionsgate The Princess Bride:  Enigo Montoya was sword fighting with the man who killed his father.  As he fought with the sword he repeated over and over again:  “You killed my father, prepare to die!”   He was trying to make sense of the death of his father.  It was in his play for months.  When he worked through this, he then moved forward in his play to other aspects of his grief.

How does this work with adults?  We will work together in the room as your child plays, you will be able to see what they are saying.  I will work with you separately, between sessions, on how to help your child as they are working on their issues.  This therapy is helpful in also creating bonds with your young child.  You as a parent will learn how to calm your child, how to be in their space of emotion, how to be present with your child.

What is family therapy like with teens and tweens?  These kids will typically be able to express what is happening for them.  We will then meet as a family.  This can be one parent and a child, both parents and child, or the entire family.    We will work on the largest stresses for the family.  I use both talk therapy and other mediums to help your family build the connections to each other.

There are times, that parents will call me because of their issues with their children and will ask me to see them alone.  I provide individual counseling as well.  I work with children from about 7 years old and up.  If your child is working with me as their child therapist, I will also meet with you separately to check in on what is happening at home. We will discuss ways that you can work with their behaviors to reduce the stress in your home.  With children from 14 and up, I will not be able to give you specifics of what happens in the therapy room.  I will however help your child to be able to say the things they need to say with you.  Over time, with family therapy, my goal is to build cooperative, loving, connected relationships within your family.

What happens in individual therapy:

Individual therapy starts similar to couples therapy.  We will talk about you, your history.  What brought you here?  Is there a history of  trauma, loss, stress, or medical issues?  Who are the support people in your life?  Who brings the stress?  Together with your therapist, you will form your goals for therapy.   As your individual therapist, my job is to help your explore those parts inside you that want to be heard and to be understood.  I understand that your family, your support network are also part of who you are.  We will explore the connections you have in life and what keeps you from connecting.

About Kari:

I started my professional life working by spending two decades working in IT product sales.  I then spent time working in the financial industry.  During these years, I buried my first spouse to cancer and raised two children to adulthood.  This experience showed me how difficult it can be for families in crisis.  Who can you talk with?  Who will be there?  It was then I decided that when my children got older I decided to become a therapist and counselor, to help others work through crisis, to help families under stress.

I am a marriage and family therapist in Fort Collins Colorado.  I have the honor to be a part of healing relationships, provide couples counseling to repair relationships, have better sex life, and better intimacy.  I work with families struggling with behavior issues with their teens, and parents struggling with young children.  Trauma also leaves footprints on a life.  I work with families where someone has been a victim of a crime, abuse, sexual assault, or injury.    When one person in the family is the victim of a crime, it affects the entire family.

To schedule a therapy appointment with Kari Weiler click here.

Graduate of:

Regis University with a Masters in Marriage and Family Therapy.                               Bachelor of Arts, University of Minnesota, Minneapolis Economics.

Regis University Certificate in Counseling Children and Adolescents.

Member of:

  • American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy
  • Colorado Association of Marriage and Family Therapy
  • American Association of Play Therapy
  • Colorado Association of Play Therapy
  • International Center for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy

 

Marriage and Family Therapist Candidate# .0013627                                                            Learn more about Kari Weiler at Psychology Today