What is Purity Culture?

If you’re in your thirties or younger, the chances are pretty high that you were raised with purity culture messaging. Though the separation of church and state is supposed to be robust, Christian purity culture messaging made its way into secular sexual education programs. 

Purity culture promotes the message that a girl or woman’s value is directly correlated to her purity, or more accurately, virginity. On the flip side, it promotes traditionally masculine roles for men and boys who are supposed to be sexually dominant, setting unrealistic and harmful expectations for both boys and girls. 

What does purity culture teach?

Purity culture messaging teaches students that their virginity is the primary source of their value both in the eyes of society and in the eyes of God. It teaches girls that they are to bend to the will of the men in their lives and be their ultimate supporters. For boys, purity culture messaging teaches them that they are expected to be dominant and overbearing; it promotes a toxic idea of masculinity. In her book Pure: Inside the Evangelical Movement that Shamed a Generation of Young Women and How I Broke Free, Linda Kay Klein notes that girls are taught to be the cheerleaders to the football players, or men, of their lives. This message teaches boys, then, that they must occupy the role of overtly masculine while women are supposed to passively lift them up. 

Does purity culture only exist within the church?

No. If you were raised with abstinence-only-until-marriage sex education, you were raised in a form of purity culture. While the education secular groups provided in this vein may have been intended to remain secular, they had their co-mingling at times. Since 1981, the federal government has been supporting faith- and community-based abstinence-only programs. In fact, Dr. John S. Santelli and his colleagues wrote in 2017 that “Between [fiscal years] 1982 and 2017, Congress has spent over $2 billion on domestic [abstinence only until marriage]  programs. Funding for AOUM continues today at both the federal and state levels” (John S. Santelli, M.D., M.P.H. et al., 2017). 

Does purity culture messaging work?

This question isn’t as simple as a yes or no answer. For some people, purity culture messaging and abstinence-only education works in the sense that it provides them with a framework through which they can conceptualize their gender and sexuality and make it to married life without emotional and psychological damage. However, just because it works for some does not mean it works for everyone, and research suggests that purity culture messaging “works” for far fewer people than it harms. Additionally, in regards to its goal to delay sexual activity, purity culture messaging fails. 

An article from NPR titled “Abstinence-Only Education Is Ineffective And Unethical, Report Argues,” notes that abstinence-only education does not reduce teen pregnancy or STIs nor does it delay intercourse (Mccammon, 2017). And, according to her book, Klein claims that girls raised in purity culture are no more likely to delay sex than girls not raised in purity culture, but they are far more likely to feel shame or negative feelings around sex. 

Though some claim that purity culture worked for them, to say that it works on a whole would be plain wrong. Unless its goal is to shame girls for being sexual humans, then its messaging is nothing short of harmful, physically and emotionally. 

What is the difference between purity culture messaging and abstinence-only education? 

Where purity culture messaging is intricately entwined with religious teaching and the quality of one’s faith, abstinence-only-until-marriage education pushes a moral agenda and promotes chastity and virginity, something I would argue mirrors the faith-based programs. Today, abstinence-only until marriage programs have renamed themselves “sexual risk avoidance” programs, but their message remains the same. Both programs deny students vital information about sex, sexuality, consent, contraception, and more. 

If you’re in the process of untangling yourself from the purity messaging you received growing up, seeking out a qualified sex therapist can help you work through the shame and rewire your brain to be able to experience sex positively. Change is possible, and you are not broken.